Short note or how I elude my own grasp.

So today I picked myself back up and made new plans and tapped into my network. We will see what will come out of it. San Francisco, I have not given up on you yet. My motivation was also much better and, although it might be no surprise that it was low on Tuesday, I was wondering what exactly I like at work. I know what I more generally like to do but in relation to work it becomes all fuzzy and complicated. I am a mindworker with an office job. Most of my work consists of thinking, discussing and coordinating. Sometimes I like my work, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I get really excited. Sometimes I think that I might like something until I go and do it and find out it is not what I thought. Sometimes, people have a great influence on my motivation, let’s say because they are in a good mood, because they listen or because the appreciate my work. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if I would find more happiness in my work regardless of people. Then again, we are all social beings and I like that I am sensitive to the people around me. I wonder how it is possible that what I should know the best of all things in the world, my inner self, seems to stay obscure and keeps eluding my intellectual grasp.

High hopes or how I decided to not give up just yet.

So today really wasn’t the greatest day. I had my hopes up high for getting a step ahead in my attempt to work abroad for a couple of month this summer. But things didn’t turn out the way I hoped. The manager I got to talk to was very friendly and was interested in having me job visiting. Unfortunalety, he couldn’t offer me a job in San Francisco or the valley where I was hoping to go. After I left my mood hit a low point and I struggled to find any motivation in what had to be done at the office. But I am not giving up yet. For every closing door, you need to push five more and one will surely open. And if none opens, you maybe need to be looking in another direction. When there is one thing I learned during my job hunt last year, it must be to keep pushing on and to build on relationships with people.

These past few days winter finally decided to pay a visit. The air turned crispy cold and white frost covered tress, grass and rooftoops like powdered sugar. On Sunday afternoon G and I took a fast-paced walk through the fields just as the sun set until our cheeks were all rosy and our breath produced small steam clouds. Last night, we fired up the fireplace three times until the crackling flames were ablaze. I curled up right in front of it with a blanket and a pillow until I felt warmed all the way through. How I love home even when I am dreaming of adventures abroad.

Orchid smiles or how I feel the wind under my wings.

So, I try to pay more attention to the little things that make me happy. The pretty sunrise on my commute, the quiet in my office, the fizzling freshness of my lemon water, the tender embrace of my winter duvet after a long days work. Since two days now, my office orchid smiles at me with her white purity and lemon yellow mouth. I think she even put on some pink lipstick for me. As I look at her, she reminds me of the warm welcome I received when I first came to work here and she greeted me on my desk on my first day. Appreciate the small things in life.

On another note: I do very much appreciate the support, I receive from some people just because they believe in me. Since I started working, I have met a number of experienced managers who have taken me under their wings and who seem to want nothing in return but see me fly. I am in the very lucky position that two of them have stepped up this week to help me with my dream of working abroad for some time. They opened doors, introduced me and gave me advice. Now I need to seize my chances and maybe I will be able to write this blog from another corner of the world in summer. Please keep your fingers crossed!

No beach or how a valet stand makes me happier.

So today I decided not to fly to Thailand. My sister will have moved on to trekking in Laos by the time I could get there and that’s not really floating my boat these days. The boring times at the office have suddenly come to an end and all I would have hoped for was a sunny beach. I do love backpacking but that is a form of travelling which requires time. I want to induldge in places, take my time to get to know people, taste foods, stop and smell. Backpacking is not a vacation. And I don’t want to keep my sister from doing what she sould be doing, being an adventurer, following her wanderlust.

On another note: I am a fan of the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and this year I finally managed to sign up for the yearly challenge which in 2012 is “Fighting the Pigeons of Discontent”. These aren’t the major happiness challenges that we face, but rather, those little problems that settle into roost. I started looking into what mainly bothers me in daily life and one of the things is how I am stressed out by picking something to wear to the office in the morning. Usually I am still pretty tired and I just cannot make a decision. Or I cannot find that one purple cardigan I had already planned on. So as I try to choose something, I create messy piles of clothes on my bed and a stool by the wardrobe. An I hate messes. I resolved to finding a solution for this “Pigeon of Discontent” once and for all and bought a very pretty valet stand to lay out an outfit every night. I am very pleased with the beautiful solid beech and it even has a little try for jewelry at the top. Let’s see if we can become friends. How do you like it? And what is your “Pigeon of Discontent”?

Daydreaming or why the beach is better than chocolate.

So the weekend was really nice with some good old to-do-of-the-list-crossing and some fun. On Sunday the grungylove and I met some Chinese friends and their super-cute new baby. You have never seen so much black hair on a 5-month old! We treated ourselves to some delicious cake at our local pastry shop. My raspberry vanilla cream cake was to die for. They also make their own chocolates, thus the mouthwatering picture on the left.

While cheerful friends, a cute baby face and delicious sweets quickly chase away the January blues, there is nothing better than a sunny beach. My sister has been backpacking in Thailand and Malaysia the last couple of weeks and feels a bit lonely lately. She just wrote me an email today. Is this a secret call for me to pack my bags. I already checked airline prices…not too bad. Should I take some days off and go?

Friday relief or why I just cannot shut up.

So I feel I am babbling too much lately…well this week. My colleagues must think I’ve suddenly become really annoying over the holidays or been abducted by aliens and implanted with an unstopable audio tape. It is just that my fave colleague has moved out of our double office because he has got a new job now. And since this week is so strangely quiet with no meetings and no emails and no calls, I just burst over lunch break. This whole stream of irrelevant nonsense about early evening TV shows and discounts and photo projects streams from my mouth like a white water river and there is no way to stop it.

Thank God it is Friday and I am bound for my favorite four-legged friend who doesn’t care how much I talk. He is the sweetest gentlemen, really polite (“let me step back, so you can go through the barn door first”) but also spirited, so he never gets boring. My Friday afternoon belong to him and it is THE best way to start my weekend.

Rain storm or why I should live in San Francisco.

So today started out with this super-heavy rain storm and now: all blue skies! I hope this is an indication for how the rest of my week will go. Again, no big news at the office and I spend my time with one or two boring tasks and drinking coffee with my girls. After a heavy lunch I have trouble keeping my eyes open. I came to this job with great expectations and after a few hitches in the beginning, it really grew on my. But things have changed with this new bosses’ boss. I want to have an impact and maybe that means, I will have to do something else. Maybe I should move to San Francsico. Doesn’t that sound like a great idea?!

The trip to the dyi-store was pretty successful and some art has frames now and will beautify grungy’s and my living room. Among them two awesome prints from Nashville. I’ll show you on the weekend!

 

January blues or how my pink matches my grey.

So this must be the most be the most quiet day at the office of the entire time I´ve worked here. No meetings, no tasks, no emails, no calls. Must be because the bosses boss is still skiing. I get frustrated spending my time holding a chair down, so I doodle and google and make plans and drink tea.

On a happier note: this beautifully pink flower (which ironically matches our corporate color) reminds me of a great birthday spent with lovely friends and the grungy-love. He put it on my birthday breakfast table and now it adorns my office-grey desk and looks at the january-grey sky outside my window. Other highlights of my day: my first ayurvedic “abhy” morning self-massage (more about that to come), delicious ginger glass-noodle salad for lunch *myam* and the fact that I get to go to a do-it-yourself store right now. Gotta love those and this also means that I get closer to keeping one of my new year resolutions: make one home-improvement project happen every month! Update on that to come…

Up up and away

So here it is, my first blog post of 2012. Finally. I have been pondering to start a blog for quite a while and made some failed attempts but today is the day.

I am a girl in my mid-twenties, always on the go, constantly making plans, ever pushing forward curiously. I have a hard time stopping even for an hour, let alone a day. I find myself still at the computer at 2am making travel plans, writing applications, mashing up to-do lists or listening to that one last online talk. English is not my native language but I hope you overlook my mistakes with a smile.

Vertical Views is about connecting the odds and ends of life. It is about connecting the big adventures with the confessions of an office girl, the beauty of small things with wisdom from writing, the fun and whimsical with the deeper insights of life.

I am not exactly sure where 2012 lead me (or this blog for that matter) but there will be so many fun things to write about! So while I am on my way, looking and searching and learning, I want to invite you to come along. Hopefully together we will find a little inspiration along the way!